Is It Selfish To Fly With Kids?

I love flying; I love the whole experience. From the moment I step into that security line (I never check bags so I don’t start at the customer service desk) to the moment I feel the landing gear meet the ground once again, air travel has always been a wonderful experience for me—even when there are screaming nuggets on board. Someone has always got something to say about children on planes, which makes sense as children have to go places too, but recent comments from journalist and parent Kelly Rose Bradford makes the whole debate much more interesting.

During an interview on the U.K. talk show, The Morning, Bradford said, “I think there’s an element of selfishness from parents who insist on not changing their lifestyle once they have their children because there are some things that just aren’t practical.”

This is certainly an interesting take coming from a parent, and I get it. I’m really fond of my kids, but not so fond of everyone else’s—but that doesn’t mean I believe that everyone else should be keeping their children indoors until they hit some milestone that makes them worthy to venture out into society.

Kids are people too, and should be treated as such. I can’t imagine why you’d ban them from planes because they can be annoying sometimes. My husband can be annoying sometimes too, but he’s allowed in most public places. Furthermore, why should I have to change my lifestyle now that I’m a parent? Granted, there are some days when I’d prefer to stay indoors, in my PJs, with a glass (or bottle) of wine firmly in hand without ever having to witness the light of day—but that’s really more about who I am as a person and less about who I am as a parent.

Because travel is so important to me, I can’t fathom missing out on seeing the world because I chose to have children. If anything, having kids is an excuse to see more of the world, not less of it. What makes even less sense to me, however, is my kiddos missing out on seeing the world because someone can’t be patient for a few minutes while I make a bottle or retrieve another snack from the bottom of the travel bag.

I understand that it’s not always just a few minutes. Sometimes younger kiddos struggle with their ears popping and it can be painful and hard for them to cope. Other times, kids have just had enough of sitting in a seat with nowhere to go and nothing interesting to do. (After a few hours, you want to scream too, be honest.) Maybe we should send some good vibes in the direction of the parents, throw on our headphones, and attempt to zen out instead of calling parents selfish for wanting to get out in the world with their kids.

Really, how am I supposed to get a toddler to Italy if I can’t fly? Or in an even more likely scenario, how can I take my kids to visit family across the good ol’ U.S. of A? As fun and financially intelligent it sounds to take a 6-year-old, a one-year-old, and a newborn on a 30+ hour road trip across the country, I’m all set. Like Bradford says, some things just aren’t practical.

So while I fully understand that a misbehaving or simply overtired and over-stressed child on a flight isn’t pleasant for anyone, I don’t think it’s selfish for parents to take their traveling families to the skies. In fact, I think it’s selfish for anyone to think they deserve a special place anywhere simply because they are old enough to vote. (Unless it’s a voting booth; in that case, you’ve earned it. Go nuts.) While it’s every parent’s responsibility to manage their children on flights—and absolutely everywhere else—it’s not selfish to bring your kids out in public, including when you travel.

We all know that calling traveling with kids “a challenge” is an incredible understatement, so kudos to you parents going that extra mile to enrich the lives of their children through travel. You keep doing you and tell the haters to remember their noise cancelling headphones next time.